It's been a while, and yet again, doesn't seem so.
Must say, divorce sucks. Especially when the mutual understanding of an end goal is still absent. But that should be a good reminder of why I'm doing what I am.
Husband wants to buy a minivan "for the kids" and is on match.com wanting more kids.
Part of me wants to laugh. Part of me wants to throw up. The rest of me struggles with both. And more with what's happening to them. Calvin sleeping with me again, Penelope afraid if I'm more than two feet away. I totally get it now. Staying married. I'd have more time, more control. I truly don't know, still, if I'm doing the right thing. That's whinging about a decision already made. But I'm horrified by what's already happening. They're too small. Their non-existent dad has too much to prove. And I'm out here in no man's land. With no support.
I want to look to what's next. But at what expense?