Reflection

It isn't always good. I just read my last post, from 9 months ago, and nothing's changed. That's sad. And enervating. And energizing somehow too. Something's got to give or go or something big, but then, when you're having a baby, it's not usually a good time for upheavals either. How to proceed?

Little things. I must focus on little things I think. I'm taking over again I hope. I was just explaining my morning commute thoughts to someone. It's like this: I feel out of practice at being me. I want me back. The catch is that much of me only enjoys me-ness when I'm sharing it. But I can work on that, right? And maybe as an ancillary effect, someone will want to be around me again too?

I don't know what else to do right now.

But I didn't always rely on anyone. And I still enjoy all the things I used to. I can do them on my own. Although my own now means with calvin too, which is a bit trickier. But I always liked a challenge . . .